Lordy, I'm a slacker. How are you!? I'm good. All my vegetables are dead, but other than that, things are grand. I'm not sure I have the patience for vegetable gardening. Flowers and perennials I can do. Veggies are a little more work. I'll let you know how it turns out. I'm sure your on the edge of your seat.

So, what's new?

This week we went to Shelburne Farms, an old estate and model farm built by a branch of the Vanderbilt family. Over the last few decades it has been converted into a non-profit educational center, hotel and working farm. It is breathtaking.




There is so much to see, but we stayed at the barn where the kiddos could run around with animals and check out the tractors.







Things are going well here on the home front. We are still waiting to hear back from the contractor with a final estimate on our renovation project. We're 90% sure we're going to do it, not sure if we really have a choice with little baby on the way. But it would sure be nice to know what it's going to cost us! Not sure how we're going to handle the mess and craziness that comes with ripping your house apart. In Northampton it was just us and the dog...and it was no picnic. This time we have Sam and little baby TBA making mommy uncomfortable and tired. I guess we'll just take it day by day and hope for nice weather so we can escape outside.

So Sam is beginning to talk a little bit. A VERY little bit. So far his word count is about 5...let's see..

Mama
Ball
Dada
Bath
No

and whenever he sees a dog, he says "BOW!" (as in bow-wow, not bowtie). Not really a word, but it's communication nonetheless.





He's begun to show a little imagination and pretends to eat things and makes little vroom noises as he pushes around toys. And as you can see, he has taken after his father with a love of LEGO.



Sam's also one big bruise, it seems. Everyday there's a new one. He enjoys climbing and jumping and pushing over heavy objects. The park is a whole new adventure. It used to be just a swing, really. He was too little to do much else. Now there are steps and slides and platforms in which to dive head first from. I dread his doctor's appointment on Monday. They're gonna think I beat him with a stick.



Oh, and he's also learned how to take off his shirt. So we are now topless approximately 70% of the time.



but we're pretty cute 100% of the time.

Crash

I have always marveled at the photos and footage of babies crashed out with appendages hanging from the couch or nodding off in a high chair. Sam never seems to be still enough to relax, let alone fall asleep. Even when he's exhausted it takes him a little bit to wind down and get to sleep. Well, there is a change in the air. I don't know if it's his age, or the fact that he is now night weaned (Yay!!) but if the mood so strikes, he will lay his head down and lie there. And sometimes? he will even close his eyes and go to sleep! Ok, well, I can count the number of times that has happened on one hand, or rather, two fingers, but it's happened.

Sorry Leo

So, last Saturday was my birthday. Nothing major going on, just went out to dinner with the boys, where I ate a huge cheeseburger. Not sure what it is with being pregnant and cheeseburgers, but they go together famously. Part iron deficiency, part permission to eat whatever the hell I feel like. Yay pregnancy!

The next day I woke up and I gained 2 pounds. Yikes. And if I wasn't already feeling guilty, I realized that at 8pm the previous night, while I'm sure all my neighbors where sitting in darkness in observance of Earth Hour, we were lazing on the couch, lights ablaze, watching Big Brother on Tivo. I totally forgot. Now I'm paranoid that the lady across the street has judged me uncaring and apathetic. No, I swear, I care! Blame it on the sleep deprivation or cheeseburger on the brain, but I really was planning on participating in that little act of conscience.

Once again this shows my over concern about what other people think. I'm not worried about the energy I consumed, I'm worried about what people who could see my windows were thinking. Which, I'm sure, no one could really give a rats ass. What's the saying? "You wouldn't care so much about what other people think of you, if you knew how rarely they did." So true. Not that it gets me off the hook for being a slacker.

But yesterday, the Great Global Warming gods let me know they actually ARE thinking of me.


Um, anyone got any plans for Earth Day?

Oh Brother!!

Man, I feel like crap.

I've been waiting until I feel better to do an update, but that doesn't seem to be happening so I'll muddle through one.

Florida was relaxing...



Sam loved his first trip to the beach, but I was kept busy by his constant desire to run giggling into the ocean to meet his maker...no fear.








We saw horses! (thats that blurry thing in the background)



The time seemed to fly by. Though it's nice to be home, it's always hard to say goodbye. Sam really loves hanging out with the GFolks. And I think we both enjoyed the break from the cold. Sam hadn't been in a stroller in a while. He was enjoying the outdoors...



Not that he doesn't get fresh air here, it's just a different kind of air...



So where back to our normal routine. That is except I am napping more now and feeling queasy constantly. So, if you haven't already guessed it....



That's right! Sam's going to be a big bro! The end of October should mark the arrival of our new family member. Hopefully I will be over this morning sickness by then. I will have much more to say, I'm sure, but until then...hope you are seeing more green than we are.

Good bye snow and ice!

ah, so much going on. I will update fully after I get back from Florida in a week or so.

Right now I am neck deep in the laundry, organizing and packing nonsense associated with any trip with a 15 month old. This should be a different experience that previous flights. Sam is no longer easy to nurse to sleep in such an environment. He is also, if possible, less apt to sit still or be engaged in any sort of activity for more than 20 seconds. I just pray we continue to have great luck when it comes to airplane neighbors. A practicing doula perhaps? Kindergarten teacher? Grandmother of 15? Yes, please. Um, 57 year old corporate sales dude...ugh, no.

And as much as I hate to admit it, I am a little, (little) worried about nursing. Now that Sam is over a year old, I'm afraid, especially in different parts of the country, that there will be comments or looks. I am fully aware that I should not give a shit, and for the most part I don't, but I would be a liar if I didn't admit to thinking about it. This is a flaw I have. I often worry too much about what other people think. I try not to let it effect my decisions, and I think I do a good job with that, but I wish I didn't even entertain such concerns.

So, if anyone has any magic toddler occupying activity that we can do on and airplane, please share. I toyed with idea of a DVD player, but I think he's still too young. He doesn't even really pay attention to the TV when it's on...even the kiddie shows. And frankly, I'd rather not try to make him into a TV watching kid...I'm sure that will happen soon enough.

So see you in a couple weeks. I will have some things to say then, I'm sure. Very sure.

Exhibitionism at it's best...

Sam has become obsessed with bellys (bellies?). His, mine, Tubbs's (Tubbs'?)

(Man this post is testing my High School English skills)

A belly on TV is HUGE hit. And if you want to see the baby belly? All you have to do is ask.





He is very proud of it. Can you tell?

The Business of Being Born...my 2 cents

The buzz surrounding "The Business of Being Born" had been building around the mama circles, so when the University offered a showing and a panel discussion, some fellow mamas and I left the babes with Daddy and headed out.

First, I want to say that I think the movie was very well done. It opened my eyes and gave me some insight into the reasons why women make some of the choices they do. I particularly enjoyed the portions that followed a Certified Nurse Midwife through Manhattan. As the filmmakers interview her clients, discuss their views and decisions, and eventually film the births themselves, it really solidifies home birth as a valid choice. Home birth is a topic that can cause visceral reactions in some people. Most often, those are the people who know next to nothing about it. I think the film could be very useful in educating those groups who are obsessed with the idea of potential tragedy and “unnecessary risk” in association with the term “home birth.”This film does a wonderful job showing why people choose a home birth, what preparations are made and how any complications are addressed.

Being that the vast majority of the movie is filmed in New York City it was kinda hard, as a Vermonter, trying to relate to some of views and culture around birth in New York City. There is some talk of the “Too Posh to Push” phenomenon, which has lead to the increase in elective C-Sections…something we don’t hear much about around here. On the contrary, the area in which I live in is very pro-natural childbirth, pro-breastfeeding (pro-extended breastfeeding for that matter), lots of people co-sleep, cloth diaper, ect. So in our case , the movie was kinda preaching to the choir.

As a result, the issues I had with the movie are primarily the same issues I often have with the birth culture in Vermont, which was evident in the discussion that took place after the film. The panel was comprised of a couple of midwives (including Burlington’s only homebirth midwife), Lactation Consultant from LaLeche, a birth educator and doula, an OB GYN (from the practice that delivered Sam) and someone else I must be forgetting? The discussion that took place was interesting, though there was little diversity in the opinions or reactions to the film. There was a lot of discussion about Vermont culture. The panel often brought up how lucky we are to birth in a culture like Vermont. Though I wholeheartedly agree, there is also the flip side. When women have trouble following the natural path, due to personal choice, medical intervention or complications, or cannot follow post natal recommendations (in particular, breastfeeding), there is judgement. Women often have to justify their actions, or are at least are made to feel as though they have to. There were a few women who expressed this concern, (one of which was one of my Mama friends) and mentioned that this movie may serve to reinforce those feelings of inadequacy or a “less-than-perfect” birth experience. When one way of birthing is held up as an ideal, and you fall short of that, whether by choice or circumstance, it’s difficult not to have a sense of failure. Not that home birth shouldn’t be portrayed as the wonderful experience it is. I must admit, after watching the beautiful, calm (for the most part, these are not superwomen after all), intimate, and private births I wish I was a candidate for a home birth. But since my last birth resulted in an unplanned C-section, it’s best I birth my next one in a hospital.

And I’m ok with that. And I’ve always been Ok with Sam’s birth. Sure, not what I had envisioned, but perfect nonetheless. I had been someone who wanted to try for no drugs. I had the big tub, ready to labor and hopefully give birth in water. Pretty much the opposite happened. I was lucky that I didn’t mourn my ideal birth, like some people do. I was able to own my birth experience and embrace it. While watching this movie I, for the first time, felt bad about Sam’s birth. ‘Felt bad’ isnt’ really a good way to describe the feeling. Sad, maybe? Then angry? Defensive? Let me explain….

The issues that came up for me with the movie revolved around a few things. Minorly, I just felt bad for doctors. They kinda grouped all Obs together. Depicting them all as having the same mindset of trying to keep something bad from happening, as opposed to letting something beautiful take place. And also obsessed with the bottom line. Like people who want to just cut you open, get the baby out so they can hurry up and fill the bed with another laboring mom. Though I have no doubt there aspects of that mindset, especially in metropolitan areas, I wish they had shown some Mds who do things differently. Because I know they exist.

Now, the MAJOR issue I had with the movie was the emphasis they put on attachment following birth. In one portion of the movie they talk about the love cocktail of hormones the mother and baby share after birth. They talk about how this promotes attachment and that C-section mothers are missing out on this. That alone, wasn’t enough to make me feel too bad, after all I knew I missed out on some Oxytocin, but then it went on to say….that when Chimpanzees give birth via C-section they reject the baby and will not nurture or take care of it.

Excuse me? What are you implying? How the hell is that relevant?

They really should be careful. In their effort to empower women to make an informed choice, they are devaluing the experiences of those who, whether by choice or not, have done differently. I believe every woman has the right to give birth how she sees fit, in a way she feels safe, and has the right to feel good about it. It is the moment we meet our children for the first time. The pure love and joy should never be tainted by guilt, shame or regret. In order to insure that, education and knowledge is vital, and I think this movie does a good job at providing important information, shedding light on many misconceptions about midwives and homebirth, and challenging the existing medical establishment. But as a consequence, though most likely unintended, they are diminishing the c-section mothers experience and setting up future mothers for disappointment and feelings of failure. And in particular, to question the capability of a woman to be a good mother, simply due to the manner in which she gives birth. Which I found personally offensive.

In the end, I found The Business of Being Born empowering and I would recommend it to anyone thinking of having a baby. Just take it with a grain of salt. I think they did a really good job shedding light on the expertise of midwives in contrast to Obs. That Certified Nurse Midwives are specialized in the female process of giving birth, while Obs are surgeons. I think many people in this country view midwives as someone who took a correspondence course, or is one step up from a massage therapist. In some states it is even illegal to have a midwife deliver your baby. The movie illuminates midwives as the skillful and knowledgeable professionals they truly are, helping to shatter many myths and misconceptions. Ricky and the other filmmakers hearts are in the right place, they just need to look outside themselves a little. And it’s important to know that more often than not, your birth does not go how you imagined.

And it's still perfect.