Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I think there is some sort of fable-type lesson in this

Something like Chicken Little crossed with the Boy Who Cried Wolf meets...um, the Tortoise and the Hare? No that doesn't seem right.

The Girl who cried Hangover?

I am almost always suspect of people being out sick. I don't know why. I would venture to say that when people call in, and say they are sick, they most likely are. But at the time they call, I always think they're full of shit.

Perhaps it's a remnant from the days I was boss to many a young college student. Then hangover = illness, and 'Phish is playing in Tennessee!' = illness and 'buddy is visiting from the beach' = illness. Considering that most of the people I work with are in their 50s, I doubt any are recovering from a night of tripping balls or hitting the road to follow Steely Dan (? I don’t know, who do 50 year olds think are cool?). It doesn't make me mad or anything. Mostly it's a 'more power to ya' and (wink, wink) I gotcha, you're secret's safe with me ((Shooter MacGavin)).

My boss was out sick yesterday. Knowing her, it's definitely not due to a crazy Sunday night Whiskey binge. But I did begin to put together a theory that she is looking for a new job, and yesterday she was interviewing. I have no reason to think this, but since the drug /drunk scenario doesn't really work, that is what I came up with. So I spent the day thinking of what would happen if she came back and gave 2 weeks notice, and who would do her job, and how freaked out everyone would be (because they would be, totally). And how everyone would depend on me, and I would single handedly save the company and get a huge raise and never have to answer the phone again.

Well, all this grandiose scheming and suspicion has come back to bite me in the ass.

I have the oh so slightest feeling of illness. It started yesterday after lunch but I stuck it out at work because it never really grew into anything. I was convinced I would be hating it by last night, but no, never developed into anything more than a little achy - ness. This morning I surveyed my overall sense of wellness, and seemingly ok, I headed to work. Now I sit here and the aches are back. Not full-blown, but there.

I pray I just get a touch of this bug. Enough to make me immune as it undoubtedly ravages the rest of the office. Likely, since I am still sitting here breathing, breathing, breathing, all my germs into the ventilation shafts and unknowingly (ok, knowingly) spraying spit all over the phones.

At least my boss being sick gives me a sense of legitimacy if I end up going home or not coming in tomorrow. As a result of my skepticism, I assume others feel the same sense of doubt in my reports of illness.

One would think this self awareness, and current state of ick, would foster a change in my distrust. But I know, if someone else calls in sick, I'll think they're taking advantage, timing their bender with health status of the office, so no one will know it's really the 'shrooms.

5 comments:

amy. said...

Is it an achy in the belly thing or a flu-y thing?

nacho said...

flu-y...muscle achy.

Some people here had a 24 hour throw up thing...but I don't think that's it. Thank God.

Laura said...

So are you sure you're just feeling sick? Or maybe all that partying (and drinking) you do is catching up? Haha..just teasing.

Anyways, I think you should get your boss's job if she quits. More power to you.

KL said...

I will let you know that I have cut (slightly lowered) my wine intake in order to lose 10 pounds by Spring.

The fact that I will be, um, twenty-twelve in march forced me to realize I ain't a kid anymore.

(That's why it's wine and not Mad Dog.)

Laura said...

Why is it I have to leave a word verification whenever I leave you a comment? That seems kinda silly.

I bet you're curious to know what my word is though. Well, I'll tell ya.

It's "yauxvs".

Anyways! Good luck with decreasing your wine intake! I'm trying to cut down 10 beer/day to 9, but that's not going so well.