Is this the end of a Nacho-free life?

Yes, I managed to mess the whole thing up. I shouldn't go fiddling with things I don't really understand. Lord knows there isn't time to try and fix it. So I guess this is how it will look for a while. Boring. Aaargh.

Why did I go meddling? Well, there is a chance I may have to change the name of the blog. There are exciting things afoot in the Nacho realm.



I've been saying this for YEARS. They wrap all sorts of yummy things with flour tortillas, why don't they make a chip? Well, now they do. I have a bag of these little goodies in my cabinet. I just need to buy some cheese, and sour cream, and jalapenos, and chili, and onions....

We are coming off of a great weekend. We had a really good visit with friends. It was so nice to get away from the news and get outside. We had the first really warm weather of the year and spent a big chunk of the day Saturday outside by the water.

Here is little Rosa...oh so cute. She loved Sam, it was so adorable as she reached out to give him gentle pats. I've never seen a kid so jazzed about stuff! So much fun.



Well, she looks a little serious in that picture. The majority of the time she's bouncing with excitement. Hmm, I didn't take nearly enough photos.

Sam had a kinda rough time this weekend. He is getting his first tooth! You can feel it with your finger. He's not enjoying this milestone, and I must admit neither am I. Not only is he in pain, but he's growing too fast. He's wearing 6-9 month old clothes already. I'm trying to cherise all the baby time I can, but it's going by awfully fast.

One bonus is that he is starting to fit into some cool digs we've been waiting to wear.



In sleeping news, we got a positioner which seems to be working great! No more flipping over and having a fit. At first it made him mad, but now he settles right in...and actually falls asleep quicker. Yay! Don't worry, he still gets plenty of tummy time, but no longer at the expense of sleep.

Hokie Hope

Sam and Mom dressed for Hokie Hope Day in Burlington, Vermont.
April 20, 2007.

Getting some of it out....

Hopefully there won't be many more posts about this. But being so far from friends, it's an outlet...

It seems the national media is beginning to widen it's tunnel vision on Blacksburg. Thank god. Though I'm happy I have been able to see what is going on, I can't help but notice that in every shot, every image, there seems to be a camera man, photographer, or satellite truck in the background. Instead of looking at the image, I find myself putting myself in the picture and imagining the perspective of those captured....having cameras stuck in your face while you cry. I can't even imagine what it must feel like there to have so many outsiders swooping in, looking for a sad story to tell, to satisfy the bloodlust of a hungry nation. And now with the package he sent to NBC. I wanted to see it, I must admit, and I watched transfixed at the angry ramblings of a mad man. But I think it would have been better from them to keep it under wraps for a while. Just because people will want to see it, doesn't mean you have to show it. And NBC keeps patting themselves on the back saying how they are only showing part of it out of respect for the families...yeah, I'm sure they appreciate that.

I suppose I'm slowly making my way through the stages of grief. It's seems anger is hanging out for a while...not sure where that lays in the order...hopefully not too far from exceptance. I know yesterday I was pretty entrenched in the "this is a nightmare, I'm going to wake up and it won't have happened" stage. Not sure if that one has a name or not. Strangely my anger has not been directed at the shooter as much as the media. Blaming the Messanger I suppose.

I hung our VT flag in the window. I feel like I need some tangible expression, some sort of public mourning...a purging. God I wish we had an alumni association up here. Maybe we will start one. I know there are a few of us around. I put a "any Hokies out there" posting on Craigslist, but haven't gotten any responses.

When I first moved here, whenever I wore Tech stuff I had to explain to people that it had nothing to do with Vermont. Actually, on the way back from Florida last week, the flight attendant commented on Sam's hat saying, "oh, what a cute little Vermont hat." I told her it was actually a Virginia Tech hat. I wonder if she remembers that now.

J spoke with P, one of our friends in Blacksburg. He actually heard the shots. He was in a building nearby (Randolph, I think). Crazy.

Tomorrow has been declared Hokie Hope day...people are supposed to wear Maroon and Orange. I think that will be nice. It's kinda weird that tomorrow is also the anniversary of Columbine. I wish it wasn't. But I will put on the colors. Perhaps walk downtown and see if I can find some other Hokies. That would be nice.

We have some friends coming in from out of town. I'm looking forward to it. Though the house is a disaster...cleaning has seemed a monumental task. They are non-Hokies, so hopefully it will be a nice distraction. It will be good to get away from the TV and think about other things for a while.

It's hard to explain, but this feels very personal to me. Blacksburg was my home for 8 years. Virginia Tech is my school. To have the entire nation looking in, tranfixed by the violence feels...I don't know, like people are gawking or something. I am surprised how emotional it is making me. I expect to be sad, but I am finding myself brought to tears...then quick to anger. That stupid CNN guy is driving my nuts. They just talk and talk and repeat themselves over and over. Making stupid observations and idiotic theories. I suppose I should turn off the TV and look to my friends for comfort. Perhaps if I was in Virginia I could. But here in Vermont I feel alone. I thank god I have J, so we can talk about it on the same level.

Last night as I walked to get a bottle of wine, I looked at other people and I felt different. Not in some major way, but I found myself thinking "they don't realize." Then I felt very selfish and embarassed at my own self importantance. But I couldn't help thinking that they may feel horror and disbelief at the events, but not like me. I'm a Hokie. They don't know.

Though the sorrow and grief of those personally effected is unimaginable, I find comfort knowing they are surrounded by the Virginia Tech family. I find myself thinking of other Hokies out there, far from home who are watching this and not having anyone around who can understand.

So if anyone who reads this knows a Hokie....

This is crazy. Words cannot describe the sadness I feel in connection with today's events in Blacksburg. My thoughts are with the entire Virginia Tech community as we struggle to make sense of this act of brutality. I wish strength and comfort to those who have suffered a personal loss. I, as I'm sure all Hokies across the world, mourn with you.

Peace

She's Here!

Welcome Ava Grace!

Mrs. T gave birth on April 5th to this beautiful little girl. They must be so happy! I've been out of town at my sister's wedding and it's been killing me not to have internet access so I could see a picture of her. She is just gorgeous...just like her mama.

Sam can't wait to meet her...

Sleep is for suckers

Perhaps I will make some onsies with this tagline. Other contenders are "I'm here for the Mommy show"and "Sing, woman, sing!" or "Don't even THINK about putting me down." I will be a millionare, no?

Oh, am I jaded already? Perhaps it's hanging out with moms whose babies are sleeping "oh, 6 to 7 hours, then she wakes up every 2." Is not good for my mama self-esteem. At least not when your baby wakes up every HOUR AND A HALF! "It's just a phase" some say. "Probably going through a growth spurt." Well, you may remember when I wrote of 4 hour stretches. Considering that only lasted 3 days, that was the phase. And we are out of it...for sure.

The main problem we are having is that Sam can now roll over. You may think this would be a cause for celebration. Which, at first, it was. It was so cute to see him kick that leg over and flop down on his tummy.


But once he gets over, he can't get back to his back. Which pisses him off. Alot.


He does this in the middle of the night. Like, oh, every HOUR AND A HALF.

J is an angel to put up with the current version of me. The version that gets no sleep. I am not as nice as I used to be. He lets me sleep in on the weekends, not only because he loves me, but I think to try and reestablish the sweeter version of me. So far, I don't think it's working.

Sam also was going through a very fussy phase while J was gone. Perhaps he missed his Daddy? Who knows. But I was about ready to cry. Sam could not be happy. Not at all. Maybe for 20 minutes. But that was it. Luckily, that ended. He still gets fussy, afterall he is a baby, but in more managable stretches.

End of the vent. Sam, is, of course the coolest thing ever. He sure is cute. And he really giggles now which is just awesome. He's getting a little grabby, which you would think would be bad, but actually I love having him reach out for me. He's all smiles in the morning and is mesmorized by Tubbs. He likes spitting raspberries and shoving his fist in his mouth. He has begun to appreciate toys and enjoys touching different materials. His favorite of both right now is Fredward.



We closed on our house! So we are now owners of two houses. Donald Trump look out! Scary. Now we are crunching numbers to see if we can afford to turn our new ugly little box into a not-so-ugly little box. Not looking good. But I am super excited about the neighborhood. I met a bunch of the neighbors this weekend and everyone was super cool. Lots of young families. We even have another Hokie in the hood! woo hoo!