Readying the womb...not the orange one, the other one

I haven't mentioned this before, but J and I are thinking of having a baby. It's been a long time of "in a few years" and "soon we'll try" and before I could slam a bottle of tequila and smoke 20 pack of Marlboros, I'm off the pill and have a stockpile of pee sticks in my bathroom.

This is my second month sans birth control and it's having a strange effect on me. If any of you ladies out there have experienced anything like what I'm talking about, please let me know. It will ease my fears that Ortho Cyclin has been, aside from keeping my eggs fortified from little tadpoles, also keeping my underlying insanity at bay.

Let's start by saying, crabby crab crab crabiness? What is wrong with me! I seem to have a perpetual body buzz of irratibility. In order to combat it, I've had a few cigarettes (I know - I know!...I know) thinking it's some sort of withdrawl. But the little bad-habits have no effect on the oppressive lack of tolerance and good humor. The only excuse I have managed to come up with is hormonal. Oh, the old female stand by. I'm not a bitch, really! My estrogen levels are just fluxing uncontrollably! Please excuse me while I inhale copious amounts of chocolate and que up Sleepless in Seattle.

I, in fact, hope my present mood is the result of not taking my daily No Baby Pills. And I pray it's just a time of adjustment. That would mean it's temporary. I can take comfort that things will soon even out and I will again be my jovial, gregarious self. Although, if hormones do play such a large part in making me want to punch my coworkers in their nether regions, I am terrified what might occur once pregnancy has established itself. I suppose it's a little early to worry about that, but I can see the headline: Pregnant Women Gouges Co-worker's Eyes Out with Staple Remover(I always thought they were kinda scarey. I have mutilated many an office supply in their vampire jaws. Mostly just paper...strangly satisfying.)