Boys and Christmas

Because once I start bitching, it's hard to stop. At least this will change the subject.

I know this isn’t any great revelation. Women have been saying it for ages. Men are impossible to buy presents for. There is a myriad of reasons this is true. The one that causes the most grief in my own life is the good ol'

IF HE WANTS IT, HE BUYS IT

Guys know what they like, and if they like it enough, they just go ahead and get it. There is little financial concern or monetary debate. Within reason, if they want it enough, they find the money. In the event it costs so much that they can't justify buying it for themselves, then it’s certainly too pricey for me to buy it. Because that means it's really expensive.

The only thing that I could come up with that J wanted for Christmas, that he hasn't already purchased for himself, is a flat screen TV. Yeah, right! Unfortunately for him, that's not happening. They cost $3,000. And even if they were significantly cheaper, I couldn't get him one, because we'd already have one.

Perhaps this is a secret ploy for men to get women to buy them REALLY expensive gifts. If they buy all the reasonably priced things themselves, then what's left? I'll tell you what’s left...a book. Here's a book. Enjoy

My Dad seems to get alot of books, but not solely because of the above reason. The short of it is that he is very particular. He has strong preferences when it comes to the fit of things. The sleeves are too long, the shoulders are too tight, the porridge is too cold.…It can be very rewarding when you succeed in finding something that fits just right. It's like russian roulette with sweaters! There is nothing wrong with this of course. We all like things the way we like them. It's just that it makes buying him any sort of apparel daunting, to say the least. Hence, when you couple the HE WANTS IT, HE BUYS IT with the CHANCES ARE IT WON’T FIT RIGHT, you get books.

There was some talk in my house about what to get each other for Christmas. J usually has a few ideas of what he would like. The problem is that they are so many options and digits and dashes involved in whatever it is, it would actually be easier to just give him cash. This leads us to reason #3 it is impossible to buy presents for boys

HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS

Oh, they know what they want alright. Down to the littlest specification. They may say, 'Boy I like those new Motorola cellphones.' But, oops! They meant the one with the built in GPS tracker not the video camera! That’s the Q47 –06 not the Q47-09. Geez, how did I mess that up! And you are destined to have a disappointed boy on Christmas, or at least someone who now has to go the mall (yikes!) and do an exchange.

There is something distinctly uncomfortable and cold to me, in having someone write down the manufacturer and model number for everything they want for Christmas. Where's the surprise? Where's the "Wow, how did you know!? Thanks!" Perhaps this is less of a 'Why boys are impossible to buy for' and more of a 'Why K never gets me anything I want' problem. J would be guaranteed all that he desires if I would let him write it all down. Then I could just go and buy and check it off the list. Ugh, what a horrible idea. No fun at all. And I know success is possible. I hitch all my hopes on the memory of presenting J with a microphone...that would be a Shure Beta 57-A microphone.

Some how, through all this complaining and worrying, I manage to get the boys in my life presents. Not always great ones, but good enough I think. Though Dad usually gets a book, I try to find one that I know he will enjoy. And the surveillance system I have set up to spy on J in the hopes of discovering what he may like, usually pays off. This year, not so sure, but we'll see.