Put a cap in my ass

I am running dangerously low on gas. My light has yet to come on, but since my car is new to me I don't yet have that intuitive knowledge of what that would mean anyway. There is no 'Oh gas light! I can drive to and from work 4 more times before I’m actually in trouble.'

So this morning, I bite the bullet and head to the station before work. I pull my little lever, exit my car and walk around to the pumps. I reach to unscrew the cap and um, its not there! My little screwy cap, where is it? Huh. So I begin to fill up trying to remember the last time I put gas in my car, but in the filing cabinet that is my brain, this tidbit of info seems to have gone the way of my Kindergarten teachers name...not important, move to trash.

So, after I fill up and begin my drive to work, I'm a little worried about what unknown purpose that cap serves that I'm now not getting the benefit of. Sure, it keeps fumes from escaping and brings down the evaporation rate. But without this barrier, could I explode?! Surely not, um, right?

My paranoid thoughts continue on to exactly what happened to the cap. After I had filled up, and closed the little door, I noted how unnatural it felt to not first replace and tighten that cap. I am convinced I would have noticed. So I imagine my car sitting in the Stop 'n Shop parking lot and a diabolical mom is scouring the lot for a volvo station wagon, so she can steal their gas cap. The same kind she had absent-mindedly left on top of her roof whilst filling up the family truckster to get to piano lessons. Of course this would only be possible if the door can be opened without the tug on my interior switch.

I arrive at work, get out of my car and walk around to the gas tank. I pull on the door. Shut tight. I dig my finger behind the lip and pull. Not budging. Crap. So I'm the idiot.

So today at lunch I will head to the dreaded Auto Zone, which is conveniently located next to Stop n Shop. Maybe older volvos have unfettered access to their gas tanks? No, I don’t have the balls. Well, not with gas caps. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to the black Maxima owner who found themselves without a rear left tire nozzle cap last fall. Thank you for your generosity.