Sunday, January 08, 2006

T the Tub of Dog

My dog is not an athlete. I have been watching some crazy dog competition on TV and it has left me significantly disappointed in T. He is no superdog. I tried to call him down from his snooze/drool fest on our bed with "T! Look at the doggies!" but he has no interest. Perhaps he is taking offense. I'm excitedly watching dogs hurl themselves 27 feet over a pool of water, and T can't even swim*. It would be like J watching the Victoria Secret fashion show and yell up "Nacho! Come see these hot girls! Man, they're so hot!"

I must admit that this is not even close to being all T's fault. We have failed him as parents. He has never been to any formal training. His excerise level has MUCH to be desired, especially now that it's 2 degrees outside. He laziness and growing grumpiness must be attributed to us, and us alone.

T does have a few talents. I will share:

    Opening screen doors (J taught him that one, brillant!)

    He howls when you howl. And I mean HOWL. Very entetaining - to me.

    He does this cute sit-up thing when you hold a treat in front of him. J doesn't like me to do it. Says it's humiliating.

    He can pop some bubble wrap like a mofo.

    His paws smell like Fritos. Ok, not a talent, but my feet don't smell like Fritos.

    Dripping nose juice on the couch.

    Smearing nose juice on anything that nose juice may cause harm to (leather, for instance).

    Barking at the mailman. Cliche, I know, but true.

    Is eating a talent?

    Um, sleeping?

Ok, towards the end they became less like talents and more like annoying habits. But we love 'im..tubbiness and all.

J - I know you have something to add to this list. I know you come here. Show yourself.

T is sleeping so I took is pic. If you look close, you can see the nose juice dripping. Can't see it? Click on the pic and get a close up of the juiciness!

He woke up after I took his picture.

*T is a Labradore, which makes it all that much worse that the boy can't swim. I still blame this on the fact that when he was 8 months old, J threw him in the lake. Scarred for life.


dan said...

heh... nose juice is a permanent coating at the house of dan. Hilda, the rottweiler, snuffles and snots all over the place. Wouldn't trade her though.

amy. said...

You know he's not going to come out and play, so...

T also has the amazing talent of entertaining toddlers with almost-but-not-quite knocking them over with his massive and happily wagging tail.

Also, he is a grandchild placeholder to my mother. She so enjoys that she has successfully bribed him into getting worked up into a frenzy every time she shows her face. Well done, T.

KL said...

I can honestly say that your mother is T's favorite person on the planet. Not just because of the magic milkbone producing pockets.

And last time he saw her, he was so happy he peed all over the floor, causing your Dad to question the integrity of the old mans bladder.

Why is it that the grandchildren are perfect angles until they get around other people? Well, not H, he's always a bundle of fun. While T is a bundle of bodily fluids.

amy. said...

H has his share of bodily fluids as well. Have you ever been in a situation where you have T poop in your hair? Nuff said.

fin said...

That's one wet nose!

P-Diddy in Sin City said...

I still think it's funny that T thinks he's a lap dog, as he was raised with a lil' one. And he's huge.