Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Consider me showered. In a downpour of blue fuzzy stuff.

Billy: Hi, this is Billy from Dumbass Delivery Service. Wanted to let you know I dropped off your luggage from United this morning.

Me: Um, where? At a neighbors?

Billy: No, on your front porch.

Me: On my front porch? That's practically on the street. I live downtown. Like, RIGHT downtown. What if someone swipes it?

Billy: Your not being very optimistic.

Me: Oh, I'm optimistic. Optimistic that the only clothing I own that actually fits my big, bloated, pregnant body is now walking down Maple street along with all the Thank You cards that Mrs. T was nice enough to pre-address and stamp...and not to mention all those baby sweaters I knitted. Are you some kind of fucking idiot?!

(Ok, I didn't say that, but that's what I was thinking. But he did actually say that I "wasn't being optimistic.)

Me (really): Do you normally just leave peoples stuff on their porch?

Billy: Don't worry, I cleared it with my supervisor.

He responded to additional inquiries regarding a course of action should my stuff get stolen with "I don't know what to tell you." Moron.

Luckily J was able to leave work, run home, and get my bag and put it in the house. Disaster averted, though I was thinking about how much money I might be able to get out of United. Especially if my leg should suddenly become inflammed and painful because I couldn't take my much needed antibiotics! Oh, they got lucky, very lucky.

OK...on to the less bitchy portions of my weekend.

I had a great shower. I must give credit to Mrs. T who planned the event with my mother, which couldn't have been an easy task. It was just what I wanted. Food, good people, booze for the unpregnant and, of course, lots of presents! I'm an not really a "shower person" and I had a wonderful time!

I found out the reason my mother was having, what seemed to me, and extrememly strong reaction the possibililty of me not coming, is that she flew in all her sisters as a surprise. The Aunts. Including my mom they make up a foresome of Midwestern, cassarole cookin', placemat crocheting, Mathew McCaughnehey loving ladies. They are scattered around the country, so it was a big deal for them all to be in one place at one time. The last time they were all together was J and my's wedding. So it was great to see them. Though it did require that I sit through the photo portfolio of my Aunt M's quilting projects...twice.

This kid is set for clothing for the next year. Though I may have to do a little shopping to balance out the utter preciousness of it all. I love the stuff I got, it's all just so....cute.** Don't get me wrong, I'm liking the cute. But my favorite thing about boy clothing is the "little man" outfits. You know, jeans, rugby shirts, suede elbow patches. It makes them look like shrunken adults. Right now he'll look like a shrunken mascot for the Perriwinkle Puppydogs or something that should be put in an easter basket.

**To anyone who reads this that sent me something that is not "cute" I...maybe I should just go through a quick list. Amy, the Frank Zappa shirt rocks. Diddy, the Vans! The kid is doing ollies as we speak. And Mrs. T...the Hokie garb was all I was hoping for. My friends are the coolest.


H0kie Erin said...

Oh, I love all the baby Hokie gear. It's all so cute! Glad your luggage catastrophe was averted. :)

P-Diddy in Sin City said...

I was so bummed that Vans didn't have a gift wrap option, but the things were so damn kiddie awesome, I just had to get 'em. I'm so glad you had a great time! I wish I were there! waaaah!

Mrs. T said...

My favorite quotes of the day included "Oh, I have had too, too much wine, giggle, giggle!" (surprisingly, not said by me or you), "You will love that snot sucker - I loved mine," "Stop eating the M&Ms, they are for the guests," "We're not driving today - so, yes, I will have another wine spritzer."

Although they lost me on the knitting talk and needle size comparisons, your family is a lot of fun! I am so glad you enjoyed it - you truly deserved to be spoiled that day and everyday, mama!

nacho said...

you forgot

"Enough already, I get it!"

(seth, age 4 to my Aunt M who kept talking about how cool his new room was.)

Mrs. T said...

How could I forget Seth - he is 4 going on 16 - his hint of snarkiness is nicely masqueraded by his cuteness!